


Make My Heart Beat Faster

by Chlo_TK377



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate story line, Autism, Character Death, Drinking, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Heavy topics, Hugs, Jealous Kit Rook, Jealous Ty, M/M, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Romance, Self-Harm, Sexy Times, Slow Burn, Smut, post lord of shadows, ty is a sweetheart, where ty actually grieves, zara ruins lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-26 22:47:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30113193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chlo_TK377/pseuds/Chlo_TK377
Summary: Set after LoS, where Ty does not do necromancy, and Kit helps him grieve. Their relationship grows over the two years, and their mutual pining makes us all scream.:)
Relationships: Tiberius Blackthorn/Kit Rook
Comments: 9
Kudos: 50





	1. Prologue

Kit felt nothing. His head was void of thoughts and his heart void of emotion. Nothing made sense and everything around him was a blur. Everything had happened so fast that his brain was unable to process the day he'd just experienced.

The day had started somewhat normally. Well, normal for a family of Shadowhunters, Kit supposed. They had just arrived in Idris. After arriving in the council hall with Ty and Livvy, Kit had been asked to fetch Alec because Magnus needed him. But Kit then returned to pure chaos. Shadowhunters all around the hall were screaming, pushing and cramming toward the door. Kit needed to shove his way through the frightened crowd in order to reach his friends.

Just as he made it through, his eyes immediately sought out Ty. He was unconscious, being carried out of the counsel hall by his brother, Mark. Bewildered, Kit quickly made his way toward his friend. He was stopped short though, because he'd nearly tripped over Drusilla. She was sprawled on the floor, in the middle of the aisle, sobbing.

Kit had immediately dropped to his knees, wanting not only to figure out what the hell was going on, but to comfort Dru as well.

“Dru,” he said, his voice urgent. “Dru, what is it? What’s wrong?” She wouldn't answer him, she only continued to cry and cry like she didn't even realize he was there. Kit started to seriously panic.

“Drusilla,” he grabbed her shoulders, lowering his head, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “Dru, _what happened._ ”

This only made her cry harder, but she was able to raise her shaking hand and point her finger toward the dais. Kit’s gaze followed, looking toward the elevated platform. What he saw made his heart drop.

Livvy was lying in Julians arms. Her face was completely drained of color, her mouth slightly open. Her entire body was limp, laying in the middle of an alarmingly large puddle of blood. The puddle only grew larger, flowing from Livia’s chest, soaking her hair and dress completely.

She looked lifeless. She- she _was_ lifeless.

Kit began to step backward. Away. He wanted to be away from here. A sudden piercing ache of nausea coursed through his system. He had an intense urge to run away and never come back. Everything was too intense. This whole new _world_ he'd been dragged into was too much.

Where was Ty? He needed to get to Ty. The urge to get to Ty was quickly overpowering his urge to run far away from this place.

He couldn't leave him. He did not want to leave him. If anything the thing he wanted most was to go find him. The image of Ty had been flicking on and off in Kit’s mind, as if Ty was the only important thing in that moment. Which of course, he was. Livvy was dead and Ty was going to break. He will be utterly broken once he wakes up.

There was no way Kit was going anywhere.

~~~~~

The Los Angeles Institute was awfully quiet. The rooms were dark. Little to no light filled the infirmary. Kit sat alone in the corner of the room, bundled up on the ground, hugging his knees to his chest.

Ty had been unconscious for nearly 10 hours now. Kit had been by his side ever since Mark placed him in one of the infirmary beds. Kit had been anxiously waiting for Ty to wake up. He was terrified for him. He dreaded the moment that Ty’s world would fall apart right before his eyes.

Tiberius began to stir. He seemed to be sweating; Kit could see the dampness laying on his forehead, illuminated by the dim candle light. His expression was pained, his eyebrows slightly scrunched together. His breathing only grew heavier and his hands were clutching the white sheets surrounding him with a death grip that looked painful.

Kit was debating what he should do when a whimper escaped Ty’s drained, chapped lips. The sound was small, but it sounded so desperate. So miserable.

Kit sprang upward and immediately made his way toward Ty’s bed. As he reached him, he placed a gentle, hesitant hand on Ty’s shoulder. Ty’s whole body jerked, but didn’t move any farther or avoid his touch. Kit began to use his pointer finger to rub soft circles where his hand had been resting.

“Ty,” he said it in a hushed voice, wanting to wake him but not startle him. “Ty, wake up.”

Ty’s state was only growing worse. His breathing was ragged and the blankets that covered him below his waist were now getting tangled with Ty’s long, restless legs.

“ _Ty_ ,” Kit quickly brought his other hand to Ty’s other shoulder, and shook. “Ty, I _need_ you to wake up.”

With a sharp gasp, Ty’s eyes sprang open. His breathing was still heavy and his grey eyes were frantic. They were looking around, confused and still filled with sleepiness. They didn't seem to register what they were seeing. But they eventually focused on Kit, who was right above him, his hands still gripping Ty’s shoulders.

Ty exhaled a breath of relief. His whole body seemed to loosen. The strain of stress he’d been experiencing in his dream evaporating.

“Hi,” he said, breathless, focusing his gaze on Kit’s collarbone.

“Hi,” Kit replied. _Does he not remember?._.

Ty gave him a questioning look. Kit hastily removed his hands from Ty’s shoulders. He’d forgotten they were there. Ty seemed confused, like he couldn’t quite remember something important. _I don’t think he knows._

Ty sat up fully. He took in the room. The countless, perfectly made, white twin beds lined up next to his. The medical supplies and potions sorted together among the counter on the other side of the room. The table that sat to the right of Ty’s infirmary bed; on top it lay a glass of water, a stele, and a medicinal potion that had been used to sedate Ty. He must have known what the potion was and what it was meant for, because his head immediately whipped around to look at Kit again.

“Why am I here?” he asked. _Oh god_ , Kit thought. How on earth was he supposed to respond?

“Kit,” Ty said more loudly. “Why was I drugged? Why are we in the Infirmary?”

“Umm. You- you don’t remember?”

“Obviously not. That’s why I’m asking you.”

Kit had to think for a second. How does one tell you that your twin, your best friend, has been murdered?

“It’s Livvy, she-“

Ty’s eyes widened. He hastily threw the remaining blankets off his legs. He stood up quickly, but some of the drug must have still been coursing through his system because he stumbled. Kit easily reached out and steadied him before he could fall on his face.

“Are you okay?” Kit asked. _Well, he sure wasn’t about to be._

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he removed himself from Kit’s grasp and leaned against the bedside table. “But Livvy. Where is she? I have to go to her.”

“She… she- umm..” just spit it out Kit.

“Kit. Seriously. Please just tell me where she is.”

“...She isn’t anywhere,” he said it very quietly, looking at the ground. Ty didn’t seem to understand this. He just tilted his head and narrowed his eyes.

“What?”

“She- she was killed. By Annabelle. Annabelle Blackthorn. Earlier today, in Idris, during the council meeting. That’s why you’re here, because you passed out.”

Ty looked to be processing this. His eyebrows were furrowed together, his eyes scanning the ground anxiously. After about 15 seconds, he looked back up at Kit, his face expressionless.

“Bullshit.”

Kit was holding his breath. After a moment, he replied, “What do you mean?”

“You are lying to me. Why are you lying to me?” His chin was raised, a look of defiance and hurt written across his face.

Kit had never had a conversation like this. He had no idea what to say. Even though he’d only known Ty for a few weeks, he cared about him immensely. He wanted to tell Ty what happened, but more than that he didn't want to hurt him. This was proving to be nearly impossible to accomplish both.

“Ty, I’m- I’m not lying,” his voice came out sounding helpless and sorrowful. “She died. She was trying to help Julian, but she was stabbed through the heart.”

Tiberius winced, and brought his arms up to wrap around himself. He was shaking his head, as if refusing to except that this could even be a possibility.

“No.” That’s all he said. His body began to shake, like he was shivering. His hands were opening and closing around his shirt. His pale, long fingers refusing to relax.

“Ty, I-”

“ _No_ ,” he interrupted, his voice sharper than ever. “ _Stop_ talking. You are _lying_ to me. Friends aren't supposed to lie to each other.”

“ _Ty_ ,” Kit replied. The intensity of his voice caused Ty to look back up at his face. “I would never lie to you.” he said in a whisper.

The look of tight anger finally dropped from the dark haired boy's face. It was replaced by a look of utter and complete despair as his bottom lip started to quiver. He was still shaking his head; but this time it seemed as if instead of refusing to believe it, he was begging the universe to reverse it.

His body slid down the wall. He hugged himself tightly as dark, ragged, broken sobs escaped his throat. He was shaking more intensely then Kit had ever seen. Kit was silently crying now, too. Seeing Ty break had been the key to breaking the wall Kit had made around his emotions. He’d never seen Ty cry before. And he never wanted to experience something so awful ever again.

Ty had begun reaching his hands toward his hair. Sobbing harder than ever, he started to pull. His hands were shaking with the mere strength he was using to pull at his soft, black locks. He looked as if he were going to rip it out.

Kit’s eyes widened, and he stepped forward and dropped to his knees, right in front of Ty. Kit could easily guess that Ty would not want to be touched at this moment, but Kit couldn't do nothing. Not when Ty was clearly hurting himself.

Kit quickly wrapped both his hands around Ty’s wrists, forcibly pulling them away from his hair. Ty immediately tried pulling free of Kit’s grasp, but Kit held on to his wrists, still leaving Ty’s hands free so they could move.

Ty was strong. His hands were straining to get back up to his head. Ty still cried and cried and shook and shook.

“Shhh, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay,” Kit repeated this in a quiet, rushed voice. It _wasn't_ okay. Kit knew this. But he was desperate and he wanted to stop Ty’s pain. Ty’s hands, that had been straining in Kit’s grasp to return to his hair, had eventually slackened, and reached up toward Kit’s shirt.

Ty’s breathing was ragged and broken, tears still pouring down his face as he wound his fingers through the material of Kit’s shirt and pulled. The force made Kit stumble right into Ty, and Ty immediately buried his face into Kit’s chest. _Okay, so he does want to be touched. He wants pressure._ Kit had some experience with this, from when he held Ty on the London Institute roof when he was having a panic attack. Kit, thankfully, knew what to do next.

He wound his arms tightly around Ty’s torso. Ty held on to his shirt for dear life as he wept. Kit could feel Ty’s tears seeping into the fabric. Ty was still shaking violently. Kit wondered if he should go get someone. They were on the top floor of the institute so he doubted anyone would be able to hear him if he yelled and Ty wasn't likely to let go if Kit decided to go retrieve someone. It was also nearly three in the morning and everyone was likely asleep. He decided against it and remained where he was, holding Ty as tight as possible. He wouldn't let go until Ty wanted him to.

After what felt like hours, Ty leaned back against the wall. He looked- awful. His face was so pale, drained of any color, except for the dark smudges placed beneath his eyes. His hair was disheveled and had fallen over his face. His cheeks were tearstained and his eyes- his eyes looked empty. They were half lidded, his normally striking silver irises were now dull and muted; the whites of his eyes were bloodshot. He seemed to be absently staring at some unknown point beyond Kit.

After a minute Ty spoke.

“Are you going to leave me too?” his voice was small and defeated.

Kit was positive his heart shattered. The fact that Ty asked that made his heart ache in a couple different ways. Of course he would stay. The only reason he’d ever leave is if Ty himself asked him to. But the sheer fact that Ty wanted him to stay, that the idea of Kit leaving was obviously taking a negative effect on Ty, left a weird feeling inside of Kit he hadn’t felt before.

“No. I am not ever going to leave you.’’

Ty looked like he was struggling not to cry again.

“Promise?” he asked, his voice cracking.

“I promise.”

With that, Ty let out a long shaky breath and reached his hand up toward the bedside table. Kit thought he was going to use it to help himself stand up, but his hand was reaching for something else. His hand closed around the small cup of medicinal potion, Kit had no idea what it was called, that had been used to sedate him. He brought it down to his lips and swallowed one large gulp. Ty was smart. He knew just how much he was supposed to take.

The effect he was going for didn't take long to occur. Within about 10 seconds he started to droop. Kit watched with sadness, as Ty’s eyes fluttered shut, and he was once again in a deep, dark sleep. There was a look of relaxation and peace on Ty’s face that Kit knew, from here on out, would be a rare sight to see.

Kit lifted himself up on heavy limbs, and reached down to pick up Ty. Wrapping one arm around his back and one in the crook of his knees, he walked Ty back to his bed. He gently laid Ty down on the mattress and pulled the disheveled bed sheets back over Ty’s body. He tucked him in and retreated back to his corner on the floor.

He will stay. He will never leave. He will help Ty get through this. Not only because Ty needed Kit, but because Kit needed him.


	2. Two Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introduction to the main characters and plot set two years later:)

“This is bullshit,” Kit grumbled, his cheeks flushed with frustration. His eyes furrowed as he stared intently down at his playing cards. 

Dru, sitting across from him, was sporting a smug look of amusement. 

“How are you so _ bad _ at this?” she was smiling widely, clearly enjoying herself. Kit grinded his teeth together, causing his jaw to flex. He was tense. His shoulders were taught and he ran his hand through his golden curls in a stressed sort of manner. He rolled his shoulders in a halfhearted attempt to calm himself.

After a moment of looking at his large variety of playing cards, he selected one and placed it gingerly atop their shared pile. With a blank expression, Dru followed suit, setting down a yellow card with a large  _ +2 _ symbol on the front.

“Take two,” she said sweetly. 

Kit let out a low groan and dropped his head into his hands, aggravation turning the tips of his ears pink. He hadn't managed to win any of the card games yet and the likelihood of him winning this one was slim. He peered down at his crossed legs bleakly, his bottom lip curling downward in a pout when Dru slid him two more cards.

What did that make it…

27 cards now?

Kit groaned again. 

Dru snickered, then slid her last card across the table, flipping it around with a flick of her pointer and middle finger. 

“I win,” she said delightedly. Kit was feeling just about ready to end it all. His features soured, defeat heavy on his shoulders. He silently slid out of his chair and onto the floor. He spread his body out on the ground, stretching his long legs to their full length, staring up at the ceiling with a bleak expression. 

“Dru,” his voice was flat. “what the hell.” 

“Don't be such a sore loser,” she drawled, examining her nails, looking pleased. They were painted black with small skull designs on both her ring fingers. After two years, Dru still sported her gothic, intense, horror movie aesthetic. Kit thought it suited her perfectly. 

She’d grown into quite a confident young lady. She’d always been beautiful, but it seemed to have taken some time for Drusilla herself to think so.

She had the Blackthorn eyes, strikingly dark in their cool tones and captivatingly enigmatic. In truth, Kit couldn’t tell if they were blue or green but was leaning more towards green at the moment as he studied Dru’s, outlined in black winged liner. She looked to be wearing a thin coat of foundation, thin enough for Kit to still be able to see the freckles sprinkled across her cheeks. She wore a captivating selection of chokers around her neck. Most of them were plain, except for the thickest one that held a gem the shape of a spider web in the middle. 

Her image rounded out with a black vintage crop top that displayed the logo of a band Kit didn’t recognize. Her pants were high waisted and loose, sporting many rips that Kit suspected she’d cut herself. Her outfit perfectly accentuated her luscious curves and her jarring personality.

Kit turned his attention back to the ceiling. They were in the kitchen/dining room. All the curtains had been drawn so golden light spilled in from every direction. 

Kit closed his eyes against the brightness, instead letting the warmth of the morning heat his cheeks. He could hear the seagulls calling from outside and the peaceful resonance of waves crashing against the shore. He took a deep breath. He caught whiffs of the morning coffee Dru had recently made and the familiar smell of salt radiating from the Pacific Ocean just outside. 

Kit was so lost in thought, he didn't notice the footsteps sounding from the stairs. In fact, it wasn’t until the kitchen door swung open that Kit opened his eyes in time to watch Tiberius walk in, pulling a fresh shirt over his dark curls and shoulders. Kit’s eyes flickered downward and caught a glimpse of Ty’s pale, toned stomach, the Agility rune standing out starkly on his waist.

Kit figured he must’ve just finished showering as his hair was still visibly damp and his pants hadn’t been zipped, his black boxer briefs peeking shyly beneath his unbuttoned waistband. 

Kit’s cheeks heated, his throat suddenly dry. He hastily looked away. 

“Good morning,” Ty muttered, buttoning his jeans and walking toward the kitchen. He walked past Kit, and didn’t so much as glance at him, as if him lying on the floor was a normal occurrence. Dru, who’d still been examining her nails, looked up.

“Ty, big news,” she said, placing her hands on the table. “Kit is  _ terrible  _ at cards.”

“You’re just now finding this out?” Ty replied, quicker than Kit would have liked.

“Oh my  _ god. _ Really Ty?” He gave Ty a fake betrayed expression. Ty glanced at him with a small smile and gave him a half shrug. 

Ty wasn't much of a smiler these days, but Kit seemed to amuse him. Kit was very happy to be able to receive Ty's little grins and amused glances every once in a while.

“Boys,” Dru was addressing them with her mature voice, like she was either about to scold them to lay down ground rules. Kit took the opportunity to get up from the ground and sit back in his seat, watching as Dru carefully stashed away the playing cards. “You know I’m leaving in a couple days to attend the Academy, right?” 

Kit nodded, but his attention had drifted back to Ty. His eyes followed the Blackthorn boy as he maneuvered through the kitchen. He was transfixed by the way Ty’s back muscles moved when he reached upward toward the cabinets. The look of concentration splayed on his face as he poured coffee into his mug. The way his hands flexed as his long fingers washed his apple clean under the faucet.

Over the last two years, Ty had only gotten taller. He was long limbed and slender; skinny, but not quite. He had his fair share of muscle mass, nothing compared to the likes of someone like Jace Herondale of course, but still enough to draw attention. He often opted to wear subtle colors and dressed for convenience above all else. He currently sported a pair of black jeans, a grey t-shirt, and combat boots. Only his hair remained relatively unchanged, slightly longer but still lightly curled and black as obsidian. The pallor of his skin was noticeable in the sunlight but Kit took silent relief in the slight coloration visible in his cheeks and the slender column of his throat. No more could Kit see the ill-looking, dull eyed boy Ty had been two years ago. 

Kit swallowed.

He was still beautiful. He grew more handsome with every passing day, Kit noticed. He had this shyness to his face, still managing to radiate a quiet sort of confidence with every movement. Kit almost envied him for it.

He snapped out of his reverie when Ty began making his way to their table, a coffee and apple in hand. With a start, Kit realized he had missed nearly everything Dru had said. 

“So it will just be me and Kit?” Ty asked as he sat down at his usual seat next to Kit.

“Yeah. For the time being, at least.” Said Dru.

_ Damn, since when is the Los Angeles Institute so empty?  _ Kit thought with a start. Helen and Aline were in Idris, partaking in a large council meeting. Tavvy was spending winter break at Magnus and Alec’s place, so he could spend time with his best friends, Raph and Max. Emma and Julian were both spending their travel year together in Mexico. And now, Dru was going away too. 

“You two need to hold the fort down here while everyone’s gone,” said Dru, in a tone that indicated she had many, many doubts. 

“What? You think me and Ty can’t handle it? Do you not trust us?” asked Kit, bewildered and somewhat offended.

“Oh, I know Ty can handle it. It’s  _ you _ I don’t trust,” replied Dru, with an amused look.

Kit was about to respond but Ty cut him off.

“We’ll be fine,” He said with a wave of his hand. 

Dru then went into reading aloud a list of responsibilities Helen and Aline had written for them for when Dru left. Kit subtly reached his hand out and pressed his pointer finger to Ty’s leg. He gently moved his finger, drawing the shape of an  _ X. _

_ Hi. _

Ty immediately set his apple down and placed his finger on Kit’s thigh, drawing an  _ X _ as well.

_ Hi. _

Kit then drew a circle.

_ How are you? _

Ty replied by tapping his finger once on Kit’s thigh.

_ Good. _

Kit drew a triangle.

_ Give me a scale. _

Ty drew the number 7.

This was referring to a scale from 1 to 10. As in ‘how are you feeling? 1 being awful, 10 being amazing.’

Ty had never replied with a number larger than 7.

They’d created this secret language not too long after Livvy died. Kit needed a way to communicate with Ty when other people were around. So he came up with a rather simple code that Ty seemed to enjoy. They’d been using it ever since.

After… the incident, Kit had been extremely persistent in using this code to check on Ty everyday; sometimes multiple times a day. Knowing how Ty was feeling everyday had become the number one most important thing to Kit’s schedule. Ty’s daily mood, energy level, and overall mindset, were crucial for Kit to have knowledge of. He supposed it might have been rather annoying to Ty but that didn't matter to Kit. What mattered was his physical and emotional health. 

Kit assumed that now he and Ty wouldn't need to use the code, considering they were going to be alone for a while…

Yikes.

You see, Kit and Ty were best friends. They were incredibly close and Ty meant the world to Kit. But the thing is, Kit had been in love with Ty for quite some time now. His love for Ty had been eating him up for months, but he refused to act on it, in fear of ruining their friendship. If anything bad were to happen to their current relationship, Kit would be absolutely devastated. Because Ty… Ty is the best thing that has ever happened to him. 

They sat at the table for the rest of the morning, talking about random topics like they usually did. Kit was painfully aware of the ghost of Ty’s touch still lingering on his leg.

He’d be fine. When Dru left and it was just the two of them. He would be  _ fine. _

..Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so what do you think? Not as sad as the prologue right? Feel free to give me any critiques; I am new to this. Keep in mind I am currently on spring break and have a lot of free time, so when school comes back and makes my life miserable again I may not update chapters as frequently, but I SWEAR I will complete the fic.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr for updates on my fics and other random shadowhunter content:) Username is Chlo_KT377


	3. Silent Craving

Ty was sitting atop his bed, his knees drawn upward so his sketchbook could lean against his thighs. He was drawing a picture of a Honey Bee, its wings spread wide. Ty had never been much of an artist, but he was rather exceptional at drawing insects. This was due to the fact that hed spent many of his days outside, studying the little creatures. 

He was wearing his headphones. His headphones had a calming effect on Ty. He had trouble adjusting to loud sounds and bright lights; harsh sensations in general. The soft sounds of various classical pieces filling his ears quieted his mind.

He was waiting for Kit to come to his room. Kit went out a lot, almost everyday, to be exact. Ty doesn’t know the location that Kit so frequently visits, and has yet to ask. But no matter where he went or how long he was gone, he always made it back to Ty at night. As ShadowHunters, their schedules are usually packed, and leisure time is scarce. So late at night, when a long day of training and patrol was over, Kit and Ty spent their time together in Ty’s room talking, reading, laughing or sometimes just sitting peacefully in silence. 

It was one of the few things that truly made Ty happy nowadays. Something about Kit’s presence fills Ty with content. Ty loved his alone time, and usually couldn’t spend time with people for too long, but Kit’s company was a rare aspect of his life that he could never seem to get sick of.

A knock sounded against Ty’s door. Kit knew he didn’t have to knock, Ty had said so countless times before, but Kit had never stopped doing it. 

“Come in,” Ty said, closing his sketchbook and placing it on his nightstand. Kit walked in, grinning at Ty and removing his maroon jacket. He threw it onto Ty’s reading chair while kicking off his converse. Ty scooted to the right, knowing exactly what was about to happen. Kit started forward and leaped onto the bed, landing on his front with his face buried into one of Ty’s pillows. 

Ty smiled. He  _ loved _ this time of night.

“Hey,” Kit said, though it came out muffled, due to the pillow his face was currently smashed into.

“Hey,” replied Ty, he’d been inspecting Kit’s arm. It’s normal, pretty, golden tan remained but there were spects of what looked like tiny crystals sprinkled among his freckles.

“Kit, why do you have glitter on your skin?” Ty asked, his brows furrowed. Kit turned over and raised a hand to the light. He seemed to just now realize that he in fact, was rather covered in glitter, as he raised his other hand to inspect his arm.

“Shit,” he muttered. Ty looked a little closer at Kit, and noticed bits of metallic paper were stuck in his golden curls. 

“Kit, you have  _ confetti  _ in your hair as well,” Ty said with a snort. Kit’s eyes widened.

“I _ do?”  _

_ “ _ Yeah,” Ty replied, smiling. “Where on earth were you?” Kit looked back toward Ty.

“Out,” he said, with a shrug and small grin. Ty rolled his eyes. Kit never truly told him where he runs off to at night, but Ty figured there must be a good reason for that, so he doesn’t push for an answer. 

“Come here,” Ty said. Kit shot Ty a questioning look, but obliged nonetheless. He crawled up so that he was sitting right in front of Ty. Ty took a moment to inspect Kit’s hair closely. Then he unselfconsciously placed his hand in the golden locks. For a moment, he was caught off guard by just how  _ soft _ Kits hair was. It was silky smooth, and slipped easily through Ty’s fingers. Ty was mesmerized, but after a moment he caught himself.  _ The confetti, Ty. Pick the confetti out of his hair.  _ He chided himself. Kit was completely still. He didnt look tense, but he appeared to be holding his breath.

“Sorry,” he muttered, starting the work of picking each piece of confetti tangled into his hair, and placing it into Kit’s cupped palm. Ty was rather enjoying himself; he was lost in his task, his hands moving swiftly in search of any hidden peices. 

Only when he was finished, and all the confetti was resting in a pile in Kit’s hand, did he look back down at the Herondale. Kit was staring at him, as if in a daze. The two boys locked eyes for a moment, but Ty was the one to look away. Ty had never been keen on eyecontact. It proved to be too intense, but he often found himself drawn to Kit’s eyes. They were exquisite. They were precisely Ty’s favorite color. Light blue, like the sky on a sunny, spring morning. 

They suited Kit perfectly. They held a gentle brightness to them that Ty was positive would never cease to revive his state of mind…

Kit cleared his throat. “I better go shower,” he began making his way off the bed. Ty was caught off guard. Kit  _ never _ left this early; they normally talked and laughed for hours.

“Youre leaving?” Ty blurted, eyebrows raised. Kit looked over his shoulder at the dark haired boy, and gave his familiar, boyish grin.

“I dont want to get anymore glitter on your bed,” he announced.

_ I dont mind,  _ Ty almost said.

“Okay.” he replied, instead.

“Night,” Kit called, opening the door and stepping out, rather quickly. 

“Goodnight..” Ty said, but Kit was already gone. 

Did he do something wrong? Ty’s eyebrows were furrowed, a faint look of worry painted on his face as he stared at the door.

~~~~

When Kit got back to his room he was breathing heavily. He closed the door to his room quickly and hastily brushed the confetti he'd been holding into his trash bin. He leaned heavily against his wall, shutting his eyes tightly. 

This was starting to become a problem.

The effect Ty had on Kit was growing exponentially. The slight touch of Ty’s fingers sent a bolt of electricity through Kit’s veins. He sat, lost in the feeling of Ty’s hands weaving through his hair, and utterly transfixed by the look of beautiful concentration spread across his face whilst performing the task.

Kit had been hyper-aware of just how close they were. He could faintly feel Ty’s breathing gently carresing his face; he could smell the cool mint of Ty’s toothpaste lingering between them. 

It had quickly become too much for Kit to handle. It seemed to be effecting Kit in more ways than one and he  _ needed _ to get out of that room.

He hoped Ty didn’t notice how visibly turned on Kit had been. 

He could still feel the ghost of Ty’s fingertips on his skin as he slid his hand down his torso. He was still breathing heavily, and almost painfully hard. Ty could make Kit feel undone just by looking in his goddamn direction. 

His hand traveled further South, crawling under his waistband. Kit’s hand wrapped around his firm length and Kit let out a low groan. He pumped his hand rhythmically, his length already dripping. 

He did not normally let himself do this. Most of the time, he would simply ignore the growing need in his lower abdomen, or take a shower to clear his mind. But the  _ want _ was too severe in that moment and his self control gave away completely in the desperation of the moment.

He did not last long, not when the image of Ty’s breathtaking face had been blinking on in Kit’s mind. He released in a silent moan, his mouth dropped open and his eyes closed.

This needed to stop. Kit  _ had _ to stop. Kit couldn’t have Ty, well not in that way. So he needed to stop letting himself get so easily affected by Ty’s every move. He needed to get his shit together. Because honestly, he’s acting a bit like a pervert. Was he being a pervert?  _ Yeah, _ he thought.  _ I’m being a pervert. _

His nightly detours didn’t seem to be helping at all, either. They did not distract him in the way he had hoped they would. And who was he fooling? He’d been in love with Ty since they were 15 years old. And these feelings only grew with a rapid speed that caught Kit off guard. Weren’t these feelings supposed to fade over time if they were never addressed? 

With a sigh, Kit quietly thumped his head against the wall, welcoming the dull pain that rebounded after a beat. He already missed Ty; he wanted to go back to his room and apologize for walking out so suddenly. He wanted to go claim his side of the mattress, where they read and talked. But alas, he couldn’t do that because he technically still hadn’t showered, and revealing that to Ty would only increase his suspicion. 

It’s ironic, isn’t it? How he yearns for Ty’s touch, his embrace, his love. How he desperately wants to know what Ty’s hair would feel like, woven into his fingers, and all of Ty’s body for that matter. But overall, how he mostly didn’t want anything to change. Their friendship was perfect and it was Kit’s favorite part of life. Yes, admitting to Ty his true feelings would likely change what they have. And since he knew his feelings were not reciprocated, that option was off the table.

He raised himself up and stalked toward the shower. He stood under the water, feeling rather desolate. Unrequited love was a miserable experience. He kept the water cold, scrubbing viciously at his skin, attempting to wash off all the glitter plastered to it. He finished washing himself, all while quietly but sternly repeating the words ,  _ Ty doesn’t like you like that. Ty will never like you like that. Knock it off. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kit is a horny, lovesick idiot<3
> 
> Feel free to comment anything you’d like, I love when you guys interact w me. 
> 
> My tumblr is Chlo_ KT377 if you want to stay updated on my chapters or just want random shadowhunter content:)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So I have most of the story completed, but I still need to edit it. I will be posting a new chapter twice a week, Mondays and Fridays:)
> 
> Also, Follow me on Tumblr if you want. I will post updates as to when any new chapters are up there:) username is Chlo_KT377


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